Boy Erased: A Memoir By Garrard Conley

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The New York Times bestselling memoir about identity, love and understanding. Now a major motion picture starring Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe, and Lucas Hedges, directed by Joel Edgerton. "Every sentence of the story will stir your soul" (O Magazine).   The son of a Baptist pastor and deeply embedded in church life in small town Arkansas, as a young man Garrard Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality.   When Garrard was a nineteen-year-old college student, he was outed to his parents, and was forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church-supported conversion therapy program that promised to “cure” him of homosexuality; or risk losing family, friends, and the God he had prayed to every day of his life. Through an institutionalized Twelve-Step Program heavy on Bible study, he was supposed to emerge heterosexual, ex-gay, cleansed of impure urges and stronger in his faith in God for his brush with sin. Instead, even when faced with a harrowing and brutal journey, Garrard found the strength and understanding to break out in search of his true self and forgiveness.   By confronting his buried past and the burden of a life lived in shadow, Garrard traces the complex relationships among family, faith, and community. At times heart-breaking, at times triumphant, this memoir is a testament to love that survives despite all odds.

At this time of writing, The Audiobook Boy Erased: A Memoir has garnered 8 customer reviews with rating of 5 out of 5 stars. Not a bad score at all as if you round it off, it’s actually a perfect TEN already. From the looks of that rating, we can say the Audiobook is Good TO READ!


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It would be easy for this book to have taken on a very different tone. Garrard Conley’s time with the ex-gay conversion group seems the sort of thing which could enrage you, once you come out of the mental chaos this pseudo-science pastiche of self-help jargon, addiction methodology and fringe (at least today, and for most people) fundamentalist beliefs. It could have been, arguably legitimately, full of bitterness, reproach, and mocking derision of the people engaged in this effort to reverse what most of us know feel (know) to be foundational qualities of each human being: who can provide romantic, spiritual, mental and sexual completion to us. Or more simply, who we love. But there is a quality to this book, perhaps a humility which comes from still loving the people he grew up with, the values they instilled, the faith that he had. He sums it up at one point by saying “it’s complicated.” I might say in addition, he shows it can be nuanced. You can love a person, but disagree with them. You can value a religion, but not all of it. You can condemn what a person does, but still see there is humanity in there, however deep. You can do this, but still hold on to and advance stronger beliefs: hypocrisy has no role in important conversations. We have rights, like being who are, being free to think for ourselves, to seek knowledge, and engage in debates about it. The events in this book range from a lifetime to less than two weeks of conversion therapy. I felt I understood his well intentioned attempt to try this, to respect his upbringing and his family, and how the attempt almost derailed his life. His mother’s presence is captured as a depiction of how parental love can both push a person toward what one thinks is right, but when seeing things hurt their child, rise up to defend them; his father’s similarly, how one can work to form a child, give them the knowledge and ability to prosper in life, but also to realize that if isn’t what they need, to accept that. I hope Garrard is able to make a happy life for himself, and kind of feel he will. I hope this book can help people who have experienced, as I have (not to his extent) the challenge of being gay in the gap between the generational change we have seen in our lifetimes. And in a way, by how he maintains love and respect for the people in his life who were unable to accept his homosexuality, help bring understanding between people who would instead be condemning each other as bigots or blasphemers. It is so much better to be in communication than to be right.


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